By Michell Brown
A client of mine was selling her house. The sale would help her finance her new business in a new state. The house wasn’t selling as quickly as she wanted. She became discouraged during the process and about the fact that there were many things out of her control, such as the Home Owners Association obligations and time delays.
With my Authentic Encouragement coaching- designed to help her see where she had done a good job, rather than just trying to make her feel good- she was able to acknowledge herself for: completing 5 home improvements during the time she had lived in the house, picking a great realtor, and actually making it to the negotiation stage of selling her home. With this Authentic Encouragement, she was able to change her defeatist attitude into an “I can do it” attitude and stay on task to get her house sold.
Truth #1: Authentic Encouragement helps you stay motivated in your business and not give up!
Authentic Encouragement, as I like to call it, vs ‘superficial’ encouragement, or ‘sugar coating’ is like rocket fuel to achieve big results and move through tough challenges in your business. Learning how to give yourself Authentic Encouragement is an incredible tool to help you get into motion where you are not moving in your business (as well as in your relationships and health!)
Truth #2: Authentic Encouragement is a Team Sport! Before you can actually give it to yourself, you need to be able to receive it from a skilled ‘Encourager’ (a skilled coach or skilled ‘Encouragement Buddy.’)
What isn’t commonly shared is that teaching people to encourage themselves is not going to do very much if they’re starting with a lot of self-criticism or ‘Not good enough,’ negative self-talk. In the beginning, we need help from others to build new neural pathways to be able to receive encouragement. To be totally transparent, early on, I was simply not able to encourage myself, because I wasn’t able to even receive encouragement, compliments or positive feedback. I was really hard on myself and it took a while before I was able to accept encouragement from my Business Mentor.
Once I was able to start receiving her encouragement, I began my own daily self- encouragement practice to further strengthen my self-encouragement skills, and I enlisted the support of a skilled ‘Encouragement Buddy.’ At that time, I was frustrated that my weekly number of clients wasn’t increasing. I was blaming myself that I couldn’t maintain a steady business. My skilled ‘Encouragement Buddy’ brought to my attention: that I had gone from no business to having a business, that I had built my clientele of mostly people who stayed with me for over 4 years, and that I had: amazing results with my clients, off the charts testimonials and a dedicated group of people who never miss appointments. She also told me that every time I set my mind to it, I added new clients to my business.
That super dose of Authentic Encouragement helped me realize all that I had already achieved, yet was not able to see in that moment. It immediately helped me bump up my level of enthusiasm and commitment, renew my efforts to build my business, and raise my numbers by a yearly average of 2 people per week achieving a full client load! I can’t stress enough the value of having an Authentic Encouragement team, while continuing to build your own self-encouragement skills. When we are caught in a negative spiral, it really helps to have someone else help us shift into Authentic Encouragement mode and move back into action.
Truth #3: To be able to fully receive Authentic Encouragement you need to feel it in your body.
Simply hearing it in your head makes it too easy to dismiss. To fully receive Authentic Encouragement, you need to slow down and feel your breath, so that you don’t rush through it or brush it aside. The breath helps you to get out of your mental groove that is holding you stuck in “I can’t do it” or “I’ll never get there” and gets you into your body so that you can physically receive the acknowledgment and create new neural pathways of “I can do it!” or “I will get there!”
One of my clients came in one day, experiencing massive overwhelm. She was lamenting that she was buried in overload. She had too many commitments and not enough time. She had just come back from a short trip with her husband and felt badly because she took some time off. She was dismayed that she wasn’t getting anything done, while several of her clients needed something “tomorrow”. It sent her into an “I’ll never get out of this” mentality. Her thoughts kept darting all over the place about not being productive and she was beating herself up relentlessly for taking a (much-needed) vacation when so much work needed to be done.
The first thing I did was to have her feel her breath. When you put your attention on your breath it stops the pattern of overwhelm because it gets you out of your head and into your body. After she began feeling her breath, I directed her to feel one place in her body, in this case, I chose her foot. This had a calming effect because her mind could now focus on one thing– feeling her foot– and her head was no longer running rampant in fifty different negative directions.
After doing these two simple embodiment steps, I guided her to look at what she was doing well right now, in the balance of her life. This included business, family and health. From this relaxed embodied place she was able to report accurately about how she was investing in her relationship, her work and her health and seeing positive results in all areas.
Truth #4: Authentic Encouragement = Directing your mind to look at what you are doing well in all areas of your life => “I can do it!” Thinking
Focusing on the bigger picture of her life, rather than only on what she was doing at work helped my client calm down even more because she saw how much she was actually doing well. As a result, it helped her release the tension of being in overwhelm and she now felt energized and empowered to want to take charge of her business challenge.
Truth #5: Authentic Encouragement helps you use your brain efficiently to figure out your next step = Forward Motion!
Energized and empowered, my client’s brain was now actually ‘on board’ and fully functional. She was able to think clearly, prioritize, and choose her next step, and then get back to work, handle all that she really needed to do and all with a good attitude!
Authentic Encouragement is a phenomenal skill to build your business. I truly believe it is also a ‘team sport’ and most effective when you are in your body. I encourage you to find an ‘Encouragement Buddy’ and build your skill of Authentic Encouragement and see what’s possible for you in your business and the rest of your life!
Michell Brown is the founder of Dynamic Mobility Training, a wholistic mind body system that helps successful women entrepreneurs achieve greater productivity, steady energy and emotional calm.